


A Brilliant Idea

by sira365



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Creative License, Humor, I'm Sorry, Taxes, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sira365/pseuds/sira365
Summary: Count Dooku confides in his secretary, Obi-Wan Kenobi, his new and brilliant idea over a glass of red wine. The conversation ends unexpectedly.
Relationships: Dooku & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	A Brilliant Idea

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure, unadulterated crack.  
> Creative liberties were taken.

“I must say, that is a brilliant idea, Count! Absolutely brilliant!” Obi-Wan Kenobi, Count Dooku’s trusted secretary said, “But isn’t that rather illegal?” he added as an afterthought.  


“Not unless they find out!” the Count smugly exclaimed.  


The electric telegraph had just been invented. It was a marvelous invention, allowing for people to communicate with each other much more conveniently. Count Dooku, a man ahead of his time and always on the lookout for ways to grow his fortune, had found a very simple way to do just so. He had discovered how to wire his money to a bank located on an obscure tropical island country in a corner of Serenno.  


“Think of all the money I won’t have to pay, Obi-Wan! I could bathe myself in that money!” Count Dooku sighed in pleasure as he imagined money showering over him, a glorious, marvelous sight he was certain he would never get sick of.  


“Isn’t this,” the secretary awkwardly coughed, “I hope you don’t take offence at me saying this, but isn’t what you’re doing tax evasion Count?”  


“Well of course it is! And what a splendid activity to partake in!”  


“Might I remind you, that tax evasion is a criminal act.” Obi-Wan said, his voice a bit more serious this time.  


Count Dooku picked up his glass of red wine, took a long, haughty sip, and set it back down before exploding into laughter. “And who in the world would find out! The only people who know of my genius are the people standing in this room at this current moment. And, if I am not mistaken, dear Kenobi, you and I are the only creatures who understand Basic here. Unless, of course, you count Rover over there in the corner. However, I’m sure you’ll find his comprehension,” he paused with pomp, “ _lacking_.”  


As the Count took hold of his glass of wine again, Obi-Wan slowly made his way to the doors of the room.  


“I’m sorry to say this Count, but your judgement was flawed.” Obi-Wan announced. Two giant, oak doors swung open and in barged four burly policemen, batons and handcuffs already in hand.  


“You see, dear Count, I work for the IRS.”  


“But I’m from Serenno! You can’t arrest me! We don't even belong to the same solar system! This is preposterous!” Count Dooku protested while the policemen cuffed his arms with handcuffs.  


“For all I know, you speak American,” Obi-Wan retorted, “Take him away boys.”


End file.
